Hello! Quick health update: I’m pretty much healed up from pericarditis, besides a dry cough caused by the condition, I feel so much better! Unfortunately, I still have to take medicine and can’t run for another 2 months to ensure my heart heals and to avoid a reoccurrence. As the world was forced to stand still when the pandemic hit, I was forced to rest. In 2020, there are lessons and parallels if we pay attention.
This post is simply a story of a yoga class I took a couple of months ago that activated me. It is my experience, so I want to lead with my feelings are valid. When you tell stories about how you felt in a situation, your feelings are valid. You don’t have to agree. Just hold space.
THAT TIME I WAS TRIGGERED IN YOGA CLASS
A couple of months ago, I took an outdoor yoga class. I was apprehensive due to Covid-19 but it was for a good cause. The class theme was 108 sun salutations to honor 108 Black lives lost due to police brutality and racial violence. I felt it was my duty to participate and energetically connect with the community who showed up. This wasn’t intended to be a class with bells and whistles, no fancy sequences or music, the focus was solely on calling out 108 names and do a sun salutation after their name was called. The two studios who hosted this event had their teachers lead.
“Read the room, we are here for 108 Black lives who died, what do you mean let it go?!”
Around sun salutation #50 or so, one teacher in particular took over. She called the names and we flowed. She began to drop what I call “generic yoga teacher nuggets” …sometimes yoga teachers (myself included) tend to say the same things over and over again and emulate what other teachers say.
When she asked, “What are you holding onto?“ I was immediately triggered! So many yoga teachers blindly ask this in class. There is nothing wrong with that statement, however generic nuggets didn’t belong in this class. Asking us what we are holding onto after calling a dead person’s name was inappropriate (in my opinion).
After a couple more sun salutations, she made another generic statement, “Whatever you’re holding on to, just let it go.” I wanted to say, “Read the room, we are here for 108 Black lives who died, what do you mean LET IT GO?!” Telling us to “let it go” after she called out more names of dead Black people was activating for me. I’ll explain why in a second.
The last straw was when she proceeded to continuously encourage us to do lion’s breath…LION’S BREATH…during a pandemic…airborne DROPLETS! I put myself into child’s pose to shield myself from other people’s droplets and checked out for the rest of the time she led. The next teacher’s energy was aligned with the deep message of the work we were doing. Mentally, that teacher pulled me back onto the mat and I finished the remainder of the 108 sun salutations.
SPIRITUAL BYPASSING?
As the saying goes, DON’T JUDGE. Did I just drop a generic nugget? I’m not judging her as person or accusing her of anything malicious, I’m being honest about how I felt in the moment. The best way to explain why I felt triggered is because her “nuggets” felt like spiritual bypassing.
Bypassing by not addressing why we were all there. Instead, she dropped overused “pearls of wisdom” that didn’t mean a thing in the moment. Bypassing our pain and sorrow and telling us to just let it go.
Maybe it’s not that deep. She probably didn’t think any of this through, probably hasn’t given that class another thought. Ultimately, she has no idea she triggered a woman of color during a class honoring Black lives who passed away violently. It was a wake up call for me. When I’m in the seat of the teacher, I must be aware of what I’m saying, “nuggets” and all.
Have you ever been triggered in a yoga or fitness class? This doesn’t have to be race based. I have a few other experiences and plan to write about it in the next few weeks. I would love to hear your stories.
Thank you for this! Please continue to share your experience!
I’ve been triggered by a yoga instructor who said “if you don’t want to have a flabby belly then don’t complain and continue to hold this plank.” At the time I was struggling with anorexia and this class did it for me. For a while I did not want to come back to my yoga practice.
Oh my goodness! I can’t believe the yoga instructor said that, I’m so sorry. Unacceptable and I hope they’ve learned not to say something like that! I also hope you are doing well, thank you for sharing your experience.
I’m so glad I read this. I want to take a yoga class with you instructing [in the post COVID/pandemic future]. You. Are. SO VALIDATED. Thank you for sharing your journey. I am glad you are physically healing as well. I am sorry you had to go through Pericarditis.